When you’re in full view of someone else, whether sitting or standing, you’re giving away a wide array of important cues with the body language of your legs. Tightly crossing them while you’re sitting in a chair presents a “closed” view of yourself to others, as if you’re trying to build a mini-fortress around yourself. Splaying them out carelessly in front of you sends just the opposite message. You want to seem open, relaxed, and comfortable, but not so much that you look sloppy and so relaxed that you’re ready to fall asleep. Women wearing skirts have obvious reasons to pay attention to the way they hold their legs. In fact, if you happen to be wearing a skirt that’s too short, you probably will feel a bit awkward and nervous about a wardrobe malfunction. That anxiety will spill over to the rest of your body language, causing the situation to rapidly deteriorate as others will certainly notice your grave discomfort.
Get rid of the trendy catch phrases!!! They annoy the hell out of people and you will be tuned out in a heart beat. Here are some examples of phrases to trash:
Absolutely! (Did you get a job? Absolutely!) – Ding Dong, is anyone
home?! This is a simple yes or no answer! Absolutely ≠ Yes
Chime-in (I’d like to chime-in) – What are you, a clock?
The good news is… – Now you think you’re a reporter!? Go see a shrink
and when you come back, start saying fortunately instead of pretending to
be a reporter!
Pluralizing a name (…the Enrons of the world) – There is only one of these
Einstein! Just say, “companies like Enron… ”
Push back (we are getting a lot of push back on that idea) – This sounds
like what happens when you have to #2 but can’t get to the toilet. Is the
word resistance too hard?
I’m here to tell you… – It is a good thing you told me why you are here, I
was starting to wonder.
Radar screen (That’s not on my radar screen.) – What are you an air traffic
Let me (let me tell you something) – Do you need my permission to speak?
The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
Lace is probably the most recognizable material for sexy lingerie, but what makes it so sexy? Perhaps it’s that it’s a very traditional material that’s beloved of both men and women and is always bound to bring back memories? Maybe it’s the ultra-feminine look of lace?
I believe the allure of lace is in the fact that it creates desire – it offers a sense of mystery and mystic. In communication and pubic speaking we are wanting the audience to listen with a sense of desire and anticipation. If we give them everything at once they will lose interest. Yet, when presenting – if we slowly bring them into the story – building the plot and description the eyes of the entire audience will be on you. Remember the power of lace – it’s ability to attract attention – find ways to make your presentation have the same appeal as lace and you will be the life of the presentation.
Research done at University of Colorado, Boulder found that people who said they are happier also reported having sex on the reg. No surprise there.
However, when sexual frequency was put as the control, people who simply believed they were having less sex than other people were unhappier than those who believed they were having as much or more than their peers.
Basically, “having more sex makes us happy, but thinking that we are having more sex than other people makes us even happier,” says Tim Wadsworth, an associate professor of sociology who helmed the study.
When you are presenting in front of a large group envision your presentation in your imagination – think about how you are going to walk up to the microphone, imagine the smells of the room, your feet on the floor. Take time to imagine the audience smiling, nodding their heads with great interest. People laughing at your humor and focused on your every word. You are now the best speaker that the audience has heard in years. It’s your imagination that will set your mood and allow you to excel. Of course it’s not as fun as…..
It comes as so surprise, then, that most of us decide to reach for the comfort food between 7 and 10 p.m. on Sunday nights, perhaps in a feeble attempt to assuage our fear of the impending Monday morning through cheese puffs, leftover cake, and stale Halloween candy.
What do you do to comfort yourself before doing a group presentation or confronting a problem employee. Do you have steps to reduce your anxiety and ways to develop a clear communication plan. Some food for thought?
Several Universities across the United States are having Sex Week. Classes such as “Reclaiming Pleasure,” and many others are being offered! While sex is important to us all – it’s never good with out communication. Strong communication is key in every area of our life from our partners, children, friends, and your work environment. So I think that in conjunction with College Sex week their should be College Communication week where we discuss eye contact, making anxiety work for you, body language – what are you communicating and learning how to inspire an audience with your word choice. Are you ready to help me lobby for College Communication week?
When I attended my first TALLspeaking seminar, I was so nervous. I thought to myself, “Not another public speaking class!”, as I told my boss how excited I was to attend. I couldn’t believe how interactive and fun the seminar was! Not only did I pick up on some great tips and tricks of public speaking but I also learned how to be comfortable in front of a group of strangers. Keith does an amazing job in getting the group to actively participate throughout the seminar. I was so impressed with his presentation that I recommended to our CEO for Keith to come in to do not just 1 but 2 seminars for our credit union. Keith’s first seminar was on Intrapersonal Communication, the entire staff attended. The second seminar was on Public Speaking for our supervisors and leaders of our organization. I have received an incredible amount of positive feedback from the staff. Each staff member was enthusiastically engaged while Keith was presenting. It was truly a pleasure to work with Keith and he is remarkably good at teaching Communication skills. I highly recommend TALLspeaking, I promise that everyone at all levels of your organization will benefit from this seminar!
Rebecca Coakley, PHR
The Partnership Federal Credit Union
Public speaking builds confidence.
Self confidence is a strong indicator of success in the workplace. If you can get up in front of a group of strangers and talk, you can easily handle important meetings or social obligations. You will, as you become more comfortable as a in front of groups, find that you stand straighter, make better eye contact and feel less hesitant to initiate conversations with strangers.
Public speaking provides opportunities
Let’s say that you work in a corporate position and have been asked to be part of a project team. When it comes time to present the project, you are the only one willing to step up. As a result, you will be seen as a leader. From that perception will come promotions and other opportunities for advancement. Leadership is valued by employers.
Public speaking makes you articulate.
In everyday speech, we all find ourselves stammering, repeating phrases as we try to put our train of thought back on the rails, and using filler sounds such as “um,” or “you know.” A lot of this behavior is unconscious. But if you were to attend a presentation and the speaker used a lot of fillers or stammered, you would likely question that person’s qualifications for giving the presentation in the first place. Right?
As you build your speaking skills, you eliminate much of the messiness from your speech patterns. Instead of “um,” you pause. You are comfortable with that quiet moment. The effects of this are that you sound more intelligent than the average person, whether you are or not!